Things Aren't Always What They Seem
by Geminigrl86
Summary: Archer has cleaned up his act. He's stopped drinking like a fish, he's over womanizing, and he wants to be a dedicated man and father. Or does he?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Well, I decided to try my hand at longer story since I got some good feedback from my first short story. Bear with me folks. Oh, I don't own any of these characters…though if I did….**

Chapter One

"GET OUT!" Lana screamed while chucking a glass vase near his head. She was seeing red and didn't care where it hit him as long as it hit him.

Archer ducked just as the vase hit the wall behind him. He felt shards of glass spray down his back.

"Lana! You need to calm the hell down! I can explain everything. It's not what you think," he said in almost a pleading voice.

"Then what was it, Archer? That lipstick on your shirt collar was yours? Or the fact you smell like cheap perfume and liquor is nothing? Or that I'm supposed to believe that I am in fact, over reacting and maybe you were at some Bible study group?!"

He chuckled slightly. "Bible study is going a little too far. Don't you think?"

Lana's green eyes narrowed and she reached for a glass figurine on a nearby table. Archer immediately regretted that comment.

"Wait! I mean, I know what it looks like, but Lana, it's not what you think! I have a really good excuse, however I cannot tell you yet," Sterling said rubbing the back of his neck.

Lana lessened her grip on the figurine. She sighed and turned towards the balcony doors in her apartment. She stared out the window wondering for a moment if she could push Archer out it fast enough. As much as she would like that, Abbiejean would be denied knowing her father and probably grow up as fucked up as Archer. Lana turned and faced Sterling who was looking at her with a mixture of confusion and apprehension.

"Archer, you know how important Friday nights are to me and A.J. It's our time to bond with our daughter and try work on fixing our relationship. You told me you wanted to be in A.J.'s life and be a real father. You promised me that you were done drinking, lying, and cheating. Yet, here you are doing exactly that."

"Lana, wait. I wasn't…"

Lana held up her hand silencing him. She continued.

"I can't let you disappoint Abbiejean because the worse thing for a girl is to be disappointed by her daddy. I also can't afford to let you break my heart again, Archer. I'm sorry, but maybe it's best you stay out of A.J.'s life and mine forever."

"Lana, please don't do this," Sterling pleaded rushing up and grabbing Lana's hands. "I can explain. I just can't explain now. If you just give me…"

Lana snatched her hand back from his grasp.

"Sterling, just go," she whispered with tears forming in her emerald eyes.

Archer opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't seem to find the words. At that very moment, a loud cry came from down the hall. Abbiejean was awake. Part of him wanted to run in her nursery, scoop her up, and let her know Daddy was there and it'd be okay. Instead he turned on his heels and stormed out Lana's apartment door, slamming it behind him.

Lana walked into Abbiejean's nursery with tears streaming down her eyes. She turned on the lights and walked over the crib, picking up A.J.

"Shh! It's okay, love bug. Mommy's here," Lana said bouncing the baby up and down in her arms.

A.J.'s diaper was wet. Lana walked over to A.J.'s changing station and began changing out her wet diaper for a fresh one all while trying to cry silently to herself. Once A.J. was changed, Lana placed her back in the crib where she fell back asleep almost instantly. Lana kissed her on the forehead and a single tear fell on the infant's head. Lana turned off the nursery lights and closed the door. At that moment her cell phone rang.

Lana reached in her pocket and looked at the caller I.D. It was Ray. She pressed the accept button.

"Hey, girl! I'm at your favorite sushi place and I forgot what's the one roll you told me to try…"

Unable to hold it in anymore, Lana started bawling.

"Ray! Archer is cheating on me again and he ditched me and A.J. to bang some whore!"

"Well, wasn't expecting that," responded Ray. "Stop your crying. That's how you get wrinkles. I'll be over in 20 minutes and I'll bring vodka! Don't shed another tear over that momma's boy. See you in a bit!"

Lana hung up her phone and despite what Ray said not to do; she fell into her couch crying.

_Across town…_

Archer stormed into his penthouse and threw his car keys on his marble accent table. He looked around wondering where his manservant was and why he wasn't at the door greeting him.

"Woodhouse! Where the hell are you?!" Archer shouted more irritable then when he walked in.

The frail old man rushed into the living room with a pink feather duster in hand.

"I am terribly sorry, sir. I was dusting your bedroom and straightening up," he explained.

Archer frowned.

"Save your excuses for someone who cares and make me a damn Bloody Mary," Archer spat out coldly and headed for his balcony.

Archer loosened his tie and walked towards the balcony's railing and looked out at the New York skyline. Right now he hated everyone in this damn city. They all were probably headed to shows, or out dinners, or taking strolls in the park with the ones they loved. He on the other hand was pushed away from the two people he cared the most about. While everyone else was probably smiling and laughing, he was fighting back tears.

"Your drink, sir," Woodhouse said meekly displaying a fresh Bloody Mary on a silver tray.

Archer snatched the beverage and flicked his wrist motioning the servant to leave. Once Sterling was sure he was alone, he reached in jacket and pulled out his cell phone to check his email. His heart sank when he read the most recent message:

_Dear Mr. Archer,_

_Congratulations on choosing such an exquisite gem! Such a precious stone is truly a rarity and your lady will most definitely appreciate its beauty and design. As I said earlier when you showed me her photo, such a beautiful woman deserves a diamond equally as beautiful!_

_As discussed, due the scarcity of this particular diamond, the price tag is expected to be expensive. Your down payment of $50,000 we agreed upon will hold the ring for 90 days, however the remaining balance of $450,000 is due before or by April 1__st__. _

_Thank you again for your business and we appreciate you choosing Davet Fine Jewelers!_

_Best,_

_Andre_

Archer sighed and took a gulp of his Bloody Mary. Mother assured him that honeypot missions always paid the best, however he started to wonder if they cost the most as well.

**Well that's it for this chapter. Please read and review. Thank you in advance.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: You're not my supervisor! Oh, and I own none of these characters.**

**Chapter Two**

"Hold the door!" Lana yelled trying to juggle A.J. and jog towards the closing elevator doors.

Ray pushed the "open" button and chuckled to himself.

"Girl, please. I heard you clomping towards the elevator. Even if the doors closed, I bet you and those baseball mitts could pry them open."

Lana adjusted the baby in her arms as she leaned back on the elevator wall and narrowed her eyes at Ray.

"Bitch."

Ray laughed again. "You know I'm messing with you! Anyway, how are you feeling? Are you ready to deal with asshole this Monday morning?"

"Well, after we got shitfaced Saturday, I spent Sunday hiding in my apartment because I was afraid I would see Archer around town and murder him on the spot. Then I ordered Chinese and the rest of the night deleting voicemails from a drunken Archer. Overall, I guess it was a productive weekend."

The elevator chimed that they reached their floor and Ray motioned for her to exit first. Lana waked up the receptionist desk to see what time it was.

"Oh good. Nine-thirty. Archer should just be awakening from a drunken stupor. I have an hour before that asshole arrives," she said relieved.

Ray rolled his eyes and shook his head. He placed a well manicured hand on Lana's shoulder.

"Sweetie, honestly don't think about him today. He's clearly an asshole who doesn't know what he's missing out on. He's being a jerk to a gorgeous woman and missing out on raising an adorable baby. Just get your work done and then at five head home and enjoy your evening," Ray said sincerely.

Lana sighed. She knew Ray was right. After all, she was Lana Kane. If she could take down dangerous hit squads then clearly she could handle an Archer.

"Thanks, Ray. You're one of my best friends," she said smiling.

"Behind every fabulous woman is a gay guy friend equally as fabulous," said Ray winking. "Now let's get this show on the road."

At ten-thirty on the dot, Sterling Archer walked off the elevator into the ISIS lobby. He adjusted his Hermes tie and smoothed his Christian Dior suit. He was a little, okay a lot, hung over. After the argument with Lana on Saturday, he spent Sunday trying to contact his mother to call Lana and vouch that we wasn't messing around and that he was indeed a loyal man and caring father. However, Malory made sure she couldn't be reached and every last call from Archer went to voicemail. Angered that he had no way to contact his mother, Archer spent his Sunday drunk and leaving Lana voicemails that made little to no sense.

"Holy shit, you look like, well, shit," exclaimed Pam as Archer made his way to his office.

"Thank you, World's Loudest Voice," Sterling grumbled.

Once in his office he threw his coat on the office sofa and started looking in his desk drawer for headache medicine.

Pam, feeling bad for calling him out like that, poured him a cup of coffee from the office coffee maker and offered him some Tylenol she had in her desk.

Archer threw back the pills in his mouth and washed it down a gulp of the caffeinated beverage.

'Bad weekend?" Pam asked staring at his bloodshot blue eyes.

"You can say that," he responded.

"Well sorry to hear that," Pam said sincerely. 'However, Mrs. Archer left me instructions that you need to complete your monthly expense reports before this week is over. You haven't done them in over two months!"

She pointed to a stack of files on his desk.

"Sometime today, Dickwad!"

With that she turned and walked out of his office chuckling.

Archer sighed and walked towards his office door to close it. As he was pulling the door shut, he looked across the hall towards Lana's office. The door was shut. He clenched his jaw and closed his door shut as well.

It was 1:30 and Lana surprisingly got a lot done in between finishing her reports, feeding A.J., changing A.J. and reading Pam's blog. (Hey, how else can you keep up with office gossip?) She looked over to see A.J. sleeping soundly in her basinet and decided she could duck out to the vending machine real quick for an orange soda.

Grabbing a dollar from her purse, Lana tip toed out her office closing the door behind her and made her way to the kitchen. She placed her dollar in the machine and pushed the button to dispense Crush Orange Soda. The soda made its way through the machine and landed in the catch tray at the bottom. Lana reached down to grab it.

"You always have one a day."

She jumped back startled and spun around.

"Jesus Christ!" Lana exclaimed. "What the fuck, Archer?"

She reached back down to pick up her soda and started to walk out the kitchen. Archer placed himself in front of Lana to stop her.

"Move."

"Lana, please. Can we talk for a moment? I tried to call you all day yesterday and…"

"Archer, we are not discussing this right now. I meant what I said. I'm done."

"Lana, you don't mean that. I know you," he said reaching hand up to caress her soft brown face.

Lana slapped his hand away and backed up.

"Know me?" she asked voice rising. "If you knew me you would know how I hate being lied to and cheated on! You would know I hate being made a fool of! That I hate that you're breaking my heart all over again!"

Tears started welling up in her big green eyes, but she held them back. Rule number one of Lana Kane: Never cry at work.

Growing frustrated, Archer's voice started to rise as well.

"Look, I know I did some shitty things to you in the past, but if we could just discuss this like rational adults…"

"Am I walking in on something?"

Cyril Figgis walked in the kitchen with his coffee cup and looked awkwardly at both Lana and Archer.

Lana looked at him then at Archer.

"Nope. In fact I was just leaving."

Archer watched in disbelief as Lana made her way out the kitchen, back into her office and closed the door shut.

"What's wrong with her?" Cyril asked Archer confused as to what he just witnessed.

"An idiot just walked into the kitchen! That's what wrong, Cyril!" Archer yelled at the accountant as he pushed past him and into his office.

"Well, at least Lana's not mad at me!" yelled Cyril too late at Archer.

"Tell me you didn't make her mad either," said Ray entering the kitchen. He walked over the vending machine, placed his money in it, and pushed for a coke.

"Why would she be mad at me?" Cyril asked him growing more curious.

Ray twisted the cap off his soda and took a sip. He looked around the kitchen.

"Well, I don't want to be an office gossip because Lord knows that's Pam's job," he said dropping his voice. "But, Archer has been cheating on Lana again. He's back to his drinking and womanizing ways! Poor thing was a mess over the weekend because of him."

"What?" Cyril asked in disbelief.

"I know, right?" Ray continued. "Who's going to help her with the baby and all? I wanted to believe Archer would grow up, marry that girl, and help raise the baby, but I guess not. Such a shame."

Ray walked out the kitchen leaving just Cyril holding his coffee cup.

"Such a shame indeed," Cyril said aloud with a smile growing on his face.

**Author's Note: Oh what could Figgis be up to? We will have to wait and see.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I keep telling you people I don't own any of the characters! **

"Do you really think walking around the streets of New York in search of a mugger to strangle you is an okay thing to do?" Pam asked Cheryl buttoning up her coat.

Cheryl looked thoughtful for a minute and scratched her head. "I guess I could maybe burn down a building instead?"

Pam sighed and gathered her purse from her desk.

"Well, could you not burn down this building? Ms. Archer kind of left me in charge and you know I kind of want to keep my job?"

Cheryl slid her coat on and grabbed purse as well.

"Fine," she pouted. "Be lame, Pamela."

As they both started making their way to the lobby, Pam stopped for a minute to poke her head in Cyril's office.

"Hey, dick nuts, you and Mr. Archer are the last ones here! Make sure you set the alarm before you both go!"

Cyril looked up from his paperwork, preoccupied.

"Oh what? Yeah sure. Have a good night."

Pam rolled her eyes and continued walking with Cheryl. Cyril waited until he heard the elevators doors open and no more talking could be heard. When only silence could be heard, he reached in his desk and pulled out a bottle of Glengoolie Black. It was now or never he decided.

Archer was in his office trying to finish these damn expense reports that he had put off all week. Who knew he claimed so many expenses? Sure, there were the suits (after all what kind of world class spy wears cheap suits?), the shoemaker visits (again, cheap shoes are not cool.), first class seating, and occasionally a pretty high bar tab (liquid courage, anyone?). But these were what any good spy would need during their mission he reasoned to himself.

Archer pushed his paper work and receipts away frustrated and looked at the framed picture on his desk. It was him asleep on his couch holding A.J. who was also asleep in his arms. A.J. was probably three months old at the time and he offered to watch her while Lana ran her errands that afternoon. He had no idea how draining a baby could be and after hours of pooping, spitting up, and crying Archer had managed to get his daughter to fall asleep; however he fell asleep as well. When Lana came to pick up Abbiejean, Woodhouse motioned to them both asleep on the couch. Lana chuckled and took a picture of the two on her phone and later sent it to Archer.

Archer sighed looking at the picture. As much as he hated to admit it, he really missed his kid. He reached in his pocket, pulled out his cell phone, and typed in a phone number. He was just about to hit the "call" button when he heard his door creak open.

"Jeezy Pete!" exclaimed Cyril.

Archer lowered his Walther PPK, frowning at Cyril.

"What the hell are you still doing here, Cyril?"

Cyril still a little distraught at having a gun pointed at him, pulled himself together.

"I was working on the fourth quarter reports. Pam said you and me were the only ones left, so I wanted to see if you wanted some of my Glengoolie Black I was going to crack open," Cyril said holding the bottle up as proof.

Archer stared at him for a moment thinking. This week had been a total shit show. He placed his gun on his desk and shrugged.

"Eh, why not?"

_Two hours later…_

"I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you, scatter brain Jane may seem all sweet, but she's a total bitch!" Archer exclaimed sloshing his scotch around in glass before chugging it down.

Cyril laughed and poured some more Glengoolie into Archer's glass.

"Are you sure? Jane? She just seems so nice," Cyril said screwing the lid back on the bottle.

His plan seemed to be going smoothly so far. Archer was too self absorbed to notice Cyril had only been sipping his drink and was only slightly buzzed. Archer on the other hand, was right where Cyril wanted him: drunk with his guard let down.

"Totally, dude! Do not mess with that one!" Archer said laughing taking another gulp of scotch.

"It's just so hard to find a nice woman here," Cyril said wistfully. "I mean, Cheryl is crazy. Pam is, well, Pam. And you have Lana…"

"Had! Had Lana!"

Cyril's ears perked up.

"I thought you two were still dating? I mean with the baby and all, I just assumed…"

Archer held a finger up, silencing Cyril, as he downed his glass of scotch. When he finished, he grabbed the bottle and poured himself some more.

"Lana broke up with me," said Sterling looking at Cyril with bloodshot blue eyes.

Cyril pushed up glasses and feigned surprise.

"No!"

Archer nodded and lay down on the carpeted floor. His tie was loosened, shirt wrinkled, and hair disheveled. He was wasted.

"Cyril, she thinks that I'm a cheater," he said looking up at the ceiling lights. "I'm not."

Archer turned and looked at Cyril who was still sitting on the carpet as well, glass in hand, looking at Archer.

"I fucking love that woman," the spy said seriously. Archer felt a single tear slide down his cheek. "I want to marry her."

Cyril clenched his glass a little tighter. _Be cool_, he thought to himself.

"Why does she think you're cheating?"

Archer sighed and sat up. He took another sip then sighed again.

"I've been taking all these honeypot missions. You know, the ones where you have seduce your target? I've been spending the last few weeks romancing female crime lords, drug king pins, and enemy agents because those missions pay more. A few times I've come home with lipstick on my clothes, perfume in my hair, and missed a few dates with Lana and A.J. because of the missions."

"Why?" asked Cyril in disbelief. This wasn't what he was expecting. Archer should have been confessing he was having multiple affairs with different women. Not this.

"To buy Lana the perfect engagement ring. The ring costs $500,000 and I need to come up with the rest of the money. I already put $50,000 down as a deposit."

Cyril spit out his scotch in shock.

"Five hundred thousand dollars?!"

Archer rolled his eyes at Cyril annoyed at his amazement.

"Yes, Cyril. Lana deserves the best. I've been a jerk to her these past years and I want to make things right," he said seriously. He placed a hand on Cyril's shoulder and looked at him.

"Cyril, she's the mother of my kid. From that moment she told me on the plane A.J. was my daughter, I don't know, I just felt something click. My life felt different. Like I finally had a family to care about! Maybe you don't get it, but things are different for me."

Cyril fought back the urge to punch Archer in the face. He forced a smile back at Sterling.

"You're right, Archer. I don't get it. Maybe one day I will."

Sterling smiled back, eyes glossy with booze.

"I'm sure this is the Glengoolie talking, but thanks for listening, Cyril. You're okay to talk to," Archer said getting up. He placed his glass on the desk and looked at his watch.

"Shit, it's late. I'm going to take a piss and head home. Well, call a cab home. I mean I am pretty shit faced. I guess I'll see you Monday?"

Archer started walking towards his office door to head to the bathroom.

'Yeah, see you Monday," Cyril said getting up from the floor.

When he was sure Archer was gone, he started grabbing for files on his desk. When he located the one he wanted he started heading towards his office and closed his door once inside. He opened the file labeled "Agenda" and started reviewing the papers inside. In the file were pictures of various women, notes about their criminal affiliations, and their itinerary for the week. Bingo. Cyril had all the info he needed.

Maybe he didn't have the spy's big bank account, gorgeous looks, or expensive lifestyle. However, Cyril had brains and he was determined to use them to win Lana back once and for all. Why should Archer get everything handed to him in life? He didn't deserve it. He got an amazing job, posh penthouse, beautiful woman, and child, and he didn't even have to raise a finger to get any of it! Archer may have stolen his dream of having a family of his own, but Cyril was determined to steal it back.

**Author's Notes: Well that's it for this chapter. Archer better watch his back. Cyril is on a mission it seems. Thank you in advance for the reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. If I did, I would be pretty wealthy. I mean not Tunt family wealthy, but pretty well to do. **

"That is just classic her!" exclaimed Archer slamming down his house phone.

He once again was trying to get in contact with his mother and was connected with her voicemail for the umpteenth time. He paused for a minute and raised an eyebrow as a thought suddenly hit him.

"Wow, this must be what it's like for her to call my cell phone," he said aloud to himself.

He laughed quietly to himself.

_Well at least I know where I get it from._

Archer looked at his wrist watch and cursed. He was going to be late. Giving one last adjustment to his tie and one last gulp of his martini, Archer grabbed his keys and bolted out his penthouse door.

_Two hours later…_

_I just need one more action shot,_ thought Cyril to himself.

He was nestled in a tall bunch of hedges that were near the outdoor veranda of La Spia Restaurant. Archer was seated at a table near the hedges with a martini in one hand and an arm around a busty brunette in a low cut green sequin gown. She giggled as Archer leaned over and whispered something in her ear. He sat back up, smiled his usual charming smile, and then took another sip of his martini.

The brunette smiled and took a sip of her cosmopolitan as well then placed a well manicured hand on Archer's.

"Chet, how would you like to go on a little vacation with me? I have to go down to South America on a little business. I would love to have a distraction with me while I am down there," she said sliding her hand from his hand down towards his upper thigh.

Archer leaned in closer to the woman and placed a hand under her chin tilting it upward towards him.

"For you, anything. Just don't get mad that you brought me when I won't let you leave the bedroom all day."

He leaned closer and kissed her on her full ruby red lips.

'Gotcha," said Cyril quietly to himself as he snapped a photo.

All week, he followed Archer's itinerary and took photo after photo of Archer seducing his targets. As much as Cyril didn't want to admit it, Archer was very good at making women fawn all over him. His charm and looks made his honeypot missions almost too easy. He managed to get some of the most dangerous and powerful women alone and take them down without them suspecting a single thing.

Sterling ended the kiss and stared lustfully at the brunette. She licked her lips and placed both arms around Archer's neck.

"Maybe we should get out here?" she asked in a husky voice.

"I was just about to suggest that," Archer said. "How about prison?"

The brunette raised her eyebrows in confusion, trying to process what Archer said and heard a click. She looked down to see a Walther PPK aimed at her abdomen.

Archer stood up quickly; gun still aimed at the woman, and snapped his fingers. What she thought were other patrons and waiters, turned facing her with guns drawn. Agents. Her eyes narrowed as she looked up at Archer.

"Sorry, stupid. I'm actually contracted through the CIA. You're going to prison," he said smugly.

Cyril, still hiding in the bushes, slapped his hand to his head. Despite following Archer all week, he still hadn't grown accustomed to recognizing CIA agents. It threw him off all the time.

"Marianna D'Verde, you are under arrest for the illegal distribution of controlled substances and racketeering," said Agent Holly walking out onto the veranda.

He grabbed Marianna's arms, pinned her to the table, and placed handcuffs on her. Two agents approached her and stood her upright. She narrowed her brown eyes at Archer.

"I trusted you," she hissed to him.

'That was your first mistake," Archer laughed as he watched the agents take her to an armored van.

Agent Holly turned towards Archer and held out his hand for a handshake.

"Archer, that was fine work once again. We have been after D'Verde for a year. I don't know how you do it."

Archer took his extended hand and shook it.

"I'm just awesome like that," Archer said. 'Just make sure I get my cut, Holly. That $75,000 is something I don't want to miss out on."

Holly nodded.

"Goodnight, Archer."

_The next day_…

Lana Kane stood at the office coffee maker and poured herself another cup. She was on her 6th cup of the day and dying. For the past several nights, A.J. wouldn't sleep throughout the night. Just about every night, Lana was up with the baby walking her apartment halls, trying to soothe Abbiejean, and stop her from crying. Lullabies, warm bottles, and rocking didn't seem to have any affect on that kid. During the daytime, however, A.J. slept like an angel.

Lana sighed taking a sip of the warm, brown liquid. She really hated to admit it, but she missed Archer. He had that magic touch with the baby. Many of nights, when he would sleep over (practically every night), he would get up when A.J. cried, pick her up, and soothe her back to sleep. Lana smirked remembering the last time Archer slept over.

_One night out of curiosity (and to learn how he was doing it), Lana got up when she heard Archer get up to tend to Abbiejean and crept into her nursery. Archer was sitting in the rocking chair, A.J. in his arms, rocking her back and forth telling her a story. _

"_And Gator and Aggie both agreed that it wouldn't work our long term, so they both went their separate ways," explained Archer to Abbiejean who had dozed off peacefully._

_A chuckle escaped Lana's mouth and Archer turned his neck around to see Lana smiling. Lana walked over, took the sleeping baby from his arms, and placed her in her crib. She tucked her in and kissed A.J. on her forehead. Archer stretched, got up, and walked over to the side of crib next to Lana._

"_Really, Archer? Gator?" Lana asked her boyfriend smirking._

"_What? We got to start her young, Lana."_

_Lana turned to face him, placed both her arms around his neck, smiling._

"_Well,I can't sleep either. Think you can help me out with that?" she asked playfully. _

_Archer smirked and placed his arms around her waist. _

"_I think I have a story for you, but it's probably not one for tiny ears," he said leaning in to kiss Lana._

_Lana pulled back from their kiss, grinning._

"_Then tell it to me in the other room," she said kissing Sterling again. _

Lana took another sip of her coffee and walked back towards her office. She shook her head looking at her daughter still asleep in her bassinet. She placed her coffee on her desk and buried her face in hands.

"Are you okay?"

Lana's head shot up and looked at her door. Cyril was standing there, files in his arm, looking concerned. Lana stood up and smoothed her sweater dress.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Just closing my eyes for a second," she said trying to feign a smile.

Cyril walked in her office, leaned against her desk, and gave Lana a knowing look.

Lana sighed and wiped the smile off her face.

"I'm just tired. A.J. hasn't slept these past few nights and I'm exhausted."

Cyril's face softened with concern.

'Oh geez. I'm sorry, Lana. That sounds rough," he said looking over at A.J.

Lana walked over to her desk, picked up her coffee, and took another sip.

"Yeah, it's been pretty shitty," she said quietly.

Cyril placed a hand on Lana's shoulder.

"Is there something I can do to help?"

Lana brushed his hand of her shoulder and shook her head.

"No. I mean this has nothing to do with you and I just have a lot on my mind," the black-ops agent said.

"Would some of these things be because of Archer?" Cyril asked cautiously.

Lana narrowed her emerald eyes looking at Cyril.

"What have you heard?"

Cyril rubbed his neck uncomfortably.

"Well, I overheard a few people in the halls. They are saying Archer was seen with some other women. I mean it's none of my business…" 

"You're right, Cyril. It is none of your business," Lana said seriously.

"Now just wait a minute, Lana" explained the accountant. "I know you're mad and tired, but as your friend I care. I know things seem awkward with us, but as a friend I still care about your well-being."

Lana said nothing for a moment, processing what Cyril said. She exhaled loudly.

"I'm sorry. I am just so angry and embarrassed with Archer. The whole office knows! I feel like an idiot for believing he changed. How can I expect someone as fucked up as Archer to be a good father?"

"Hey, it's not your fault, Lana. Archer is Archer and always will be. He's a selfish, conceited asshole. That's just how he is," Cyril explained.

Lana looked over at Abbiejean who was still sleeping peacefully in her basinet. She wanted so hard to make a family with Archer for the sake of A.J. that maybe she did overlook Archer's negative qualities.

"I guess you're right," Lana said in an almost defeated tone.

Cyril cleared his throat and handed Lana a file.

"When you get a moment I need you to sign off on these," he said to Lana as she took the file.

Cyril started walking towards her door and paused her a moment. He turned back around looking at Lana.

"And Lana," he said to her.

She looked up from the file. Her face looked weary and sad.

"I'm here if you need anything."

She nodded in acknowledgement.

"Thanks, Cyril."

_Later that evening…_

Lana pushed the baby carriage through her apartment's front doors and stopped at her mailbox. She unlocked it and reached in grabbing a handful of envelopes. Electric bill, cable bill, postcard reminding her of Abbiejean's doctor appointment, and a plain yellow envelope with just her address on it.

Lana placed the rest of the mail in her purse and opened the envelope. Inside were a typed letter and some pictures.

"Thought you needed to know. A friend," read Lana out loud.

Inside were nine pictures all of Archer, each showing him with a very attractive (and well endowed) woman who was throwing herself at him.

Lana felt her face growing red with hot, angry tears escaping her eyes. She shoved the letter and pictures in her purse with the other mail and made her way to the building elevator. Pushing the button, she stood waiting, failing miserably trying not to cry. Lana looked down at A.J. who was staring back up at her with big green eyes. A sharp pain shot through her chest. Her heart was breaking.

**Thank you all for your kind words. This was pretty long chapter for me. As always thank you for your input. There's just not enough Archer fanfiction out there so I really enjoy long ones (phrasing) when I come across them. I'll be working on my next chapter shortly. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own not one of these characters.**

"Thanks for coming on such short notice," Lana said closing her apartment door.

In walked Cyril Figgis pushing up his glasses.

"No problem. I am glad I could help," he said taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack.

"I tried to call Ray but he was out of town for the weekend. Of all days for the alarm to go off at the office! I just need to meet Krieger down there, accompany him in, make sure there was no attempted break in, and have him reset the system. I'm sure no one broke in, but they want an agent to go just in case and I'd rather the baby stays here," Lana explained as she gathered her weapons.

"Well take your time," Cyril said waving a hand. "I'm sure I can handle Abbiejean. I mean I handled worse in my life."

Lana looked Cyril for minute, unsure she was making the right decision.

"Okay," she said finally. "Just make sure when she wakes up you give her, her bottle and burp her."

Lana grabbed her coat and headed for the door.

"I cannot thank you again, Cyril" Lana said opening the door. "I'll be back in a bit!"

Cyril watched as Lana closed the door and headed down to headquarters. He looked around her apartment. Things sure were different in here since they broke up. What used to be spotless and shiny now looked lived in with baby items scattered throughout.

The accountant walked into the living room and sat down on Lana's beige suede sofa. He reached for the remote that was on the cream colored coffee table and turned on the TV. At that very moment he heard a shrill cry coming from a bedroom. Cyril sighed and walked towards the sound.

"Okay, kiddo. What's up? You want your bottle?" he asked walking into the nursery and turned on the lights.

Cyril walked over to the crib, reached in and picked up the crying infant. Still carrying A.J. he walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle out of the fridge, and fed it to the baby. Silence fell upon the apartment. Cyril sighed, relieved.

'See? You can do this," he said to himself.

_Twenty minutes later…_

'Why won't you stop crying?!" groaned Cyril bouncing the infant up and down in his arms.

He fed the baby and burped her yet despite all that she stayed screaming. Cyril felt like crying himself. Her cries were pierce and starting to give him a headache.

'What do you want, baby?!" he exclaimed holding the infant up and looking at her.

At that very moment, Lana's doorbell rang.

"Oh thank God," Cyril said relieved.

Carrying Abbiejean, he walked towards the door to answer it.

"Look, A.J. it's…" Cyril said opening the door excited to give the baby back to her mother. "Archer?"

"What the shit?" Archer asked in confusion.

He was carrying a stuffed teddy bear and a bouquet of roses. He looked at Cyril holding a crying Abbiejean and his face darkened.

"What the hell are you doing here and why are you holding my daughter?" Archer asked dropped the flowers and toy on the floor.

Cyril backed away from the door uncomfortable. He cleared his throat.

"Lana asked me to watch the baby while she headed with Krieger to the office because the alarm went off," he said very matter of factly as Archer stayed glowering at him.

"Cyril?" Archer asked.

'Yes?"

"Please hand me Abbiejean."

Cyril held out the crying baby to Archer. The spy placed her close to his chest, pat her back, shushing her as he bounced her up and down gently. A.J.'s crying slowed down then as if it was magic she stopped. Archer, still carrying her, walked into Lana's living room, placed the baby in her baby swing, and set it to rock her slowly. A.J. blew spit bubbles of happiness at her father. Archer smiled and kissed her on her forehead.

He walked back into the foyer area.

"Wow," Cyril said amazed. "I don't know how you did that."

Archer hung took off his suit jacket and started loosening his tie.

"Oh really easy, Cyril" he said in a calm tone. "You just do this!"

As if the world slowed down, Cyril saw Archer's fist fly at his face, make contact with his jaw, and knock his head side ways. Cyril felt himself fall face down to the floor. He sat up dizzy, clutching the side of face.

"Dammit, Archer!"

Both Cyril and Archer froze in surprise. Lana was home.

She pushed past Archer and knelt on the floor next to Cyril.

"Cyril, are you okay? She asked concerned. "Cyril, look at me. Do you think you have a concussion?"

Cyril shook his head no and clutched the side of his face which was still throbbing.

"I'm fine, Lana," he said weakly. "Archer just knocked the shit out of me."

Lana whipped herself up from the floor and turned to face the father of her daughter.

'WHAT THE SHIT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" She screamed shoving Archer in his chest. "YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!"

"WHAT IS HE DOING HERE, LANA?" Sterling screamed back enraged. "YOU BREAK UP WITH ME AND NEXT THING I KNOW CYRIL'S PLAYING FATHER TO MY DAUGHTER!"

Lana gasped offended and slapped Archer across the face.

"How dare you accuse me of being some whore," she said in a quiet tone. "If anything you've been a damn whore your whole pathetic life."

Archer rubbed the side of his face glaring at Lana.

Lana felt all control let go. Weeks of frustration that had built up were now coming out. The flood gates were open and there was no way to stop it.

"What the hell was I thinking, Archer? You are worst human being I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. You're selfish, a booze hound, a whore, and the biggest man-child that ever lived. The only good thing that came out of us knowing each other is that baby. Other than that I wish I never met you."

Cyril, getting up from the floor, looked at Lana in awe.

Archer locked eyes with Lana and in one swift move grabbed both of her wrists, held up her arms, and slammed her back against the wall. Lana let out a cry of pain and surprise.

"Lana!" Cyril exclaimed walking towards Lana and Archer.

"Cyril, take one more step and I swear I will beat the shit out of you," Archer spat out.

Cyril, not in a position to fight Archer, stood still.

Archer redirected his gaze back towards Lana. His steely blue eyes locked with her green ones.

"Is this what you want, Lana?" Archer asked forcefully. "Is this what you want for us? Just say it. Tell me what you want!"

She looked into Archer's eyes. She was a mixture of emotions. She felt betrayed, angry, and yet still in love with him. This was dangerous and she was not the same Lana who could deal with his antics. She was a mother now and needed stability.

"Lana!" he exclaimed with pleading eyes. "Tell me what you want!"

"I don't love you," she quietly to him. "I just don't love you anymore."

He released her wrists and stepped back flabbergasted. He felt like someone shot him.

"Lana, I…" Archer started but his voice started crackling.

"Archer, get the hell out of here. You hurt Lana enough," Cyril spoke up unsure as to whether that was a brave thing to do or a stupid one.

Lana felt tears build up in her eyes and her heart grow heavy as she stared at Archer. Sterling was about to open his mouth to say something when the sound of Abbiejean's crying traveled from the living room. Lana turned on her heels to go tend to the baby.

Unsure of what to say or do, Archer grabbed his suit jacket and opened the apartment door. He turned to have one last look at Lana who came back into the foyer area holding A.J. who was still crying. Cyril gave Archer a judgemental look.

"Just go!"

Archer slammed the door shut.

_That night…_

Archer shot up from his sleep sweating and breathing heavily.

He looked around his bedroom. Other than the glow of the pale moonlight, it was dark and empty.

"It was just a dream," he said relieved.

He got out of bed and walked in his living room towards his bar to fix a drink. He dreamed that Cyril was his partner on a mission in the jungle. As they were wandering around, Cyril pulled a gun on him and shot him in the back.

Archer grabbed a glass and stared at the plethora of bottles under the counter trying to decide what one to pour.

"I guess Glengoolie Black it is," he said opening it and pouring it in his glass.

Archer took a sip and stared at the bottle. Something about it bothered him. He continued staring at the label hard trying to pinpoint what it was. Then like lightening it hit him. The scotch, his office, talking to Cyril…

"Holy shit! That fucker is setting me up!"

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. I actually wrote this up a week ago, but I didn't know if this was the route I wanted to take with my story. I actually don't plot my stories in advance. I just write and see where the characters take me. Please enjoy and your feedback really helps me!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. So leave me alone. I have no more love to give.**

For the past two weeks, ISIS remained quiet. Archer was away in Miami for another honeypot mission, Mallory was still on her vacation around the world, and Lana was able to focus on her work while Cyril helped her with the baby. It was absolute bliss in the office.

"You ready for lunch?" Ray asked Lana leaning against her office door.

Lana looked up from her paper work upon hearing Ray's voice. She peeked at her wrist watch shaking her head in disbelief.

"Wow, it's 1:30 already? I guess I lost track of time. I've been working all morning, catching up on these reports and filling out my expenses."

Lana got up, walked over to Abbiejean's basinet, picked up the infant, and grabbed her baby bag.

"Let me just drop Abbiejean off with Cyril and we can head out," she said closing her office door.

"Cyril? Really?" Ray asked cocking his head to the side.

"I know, I know," Lana said sighing. "But, he's been pretty helpful these past few days. He helped me catch up on some work, watch A.J. for a few hours while I went to the range, and even made dinner one night for me when I was exhausted. He's surprisingly been a really good friend."

Ray said nothing but just raised an eyebrow at Lana.

"Hey guys," Cyril said as the two spies stood outside his office door.

Lana walked in and placed her baby bag on his desk.

"Hey, Ray and I were going to grab a quick bite to eat. Could you please watch Abbiejean for a few so I can eat? She's due for a nap so, she shouldn't bother you," Lana explained.

Cyril shrugged nonchalantly.

"Sure, not a problem."

"Great! Thank you so much, Cyril," Lana said handing him the baby. "My cell phone will be on if you need me. Be back soon!"

Lana waved goodbye, excited to have a few moments alone with an actual adult, and ushered Ray towards the elevators.

"Don't you think Cyril is doing all this to get into your pants?" asked Ray putting on his Aviator sunglasses.

Lana snorted with amusement. "Yeah, okay. Cyril knows we are not a thing anymore. He's just being friendly, Ray."

The elevator doors opened and both agents walked in.

"Right," said Ray sarcastically as he pushed the button for the ground floor. "Well let's see what Archer thinks about this when he gets back."

Lana's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. "I don't give a shit what Archer thinks. He's been a horrible person. Maybe Cyril was a jerk in the past but, he's trying to be a good friend. Archer is so busy running around womanizing every big boob bimbo, he's missing out on our child."

The elevator doors opened and both walked out through the laundry mat to the outside. Once out on the sidewalk, Ray turned to Lana.

"Honey, you know I'm your best friend and I care about you very much, however I am going to say this: Archer may be an asshole at times but, he's who you should be with. In some weird, maybe cosmic way, you two belong together. We all knew it from basic training. You were the only one who could go toe to toe with Archer. When you cry out for help, whose name do you call all the time? Archer! And what does he do? He always comes running. He sacrificed his life for you and that child."

He took a breath and placed a hand on Lana's shoulder. "Look, I'm not defending the guy because Lord knows he has been an ass to me numerous times but, I know you and I know you're quick to anger and quick to judge. That being said, I know you're super sensitive as well and under that tough demeanor is someone who believes in love. Perhaps, things aren't always what them seem, Lana. Before you write Archer off forever maybe you should talk to him. Not yell but, just talk."

Lana bit her bottom lip in and sighed.

"Maybe you're right, Ray. I still love him. "

Ray smirked, lit a cigarette, and took a drag.

'Girl please. Of course I'm right," he said exhaling. "No gay man has ever given bad love advice. That's why they have so many reality T.V. shows with us helping you straight women."

Lana chuckled and punched him playfully in the arm.

_Meanwhile…_

Archer sat in the back of the cab grinning while looking at his bank account balance on his cell phone.

"That's a lot of zeroes," he said out loud to himself.

He was just returning from his latest honeypot mission and the payout was more than he thought it would be. Now he could tend to an important piece of unfinished business.

He looked out the car window and yelled out to the driver.

"Stop! Right here! Just pull up to this curb and give me twenty minutes."

The driver grumbled and parked the car next to the curb.

"Ya, know I have to keep the meter running?" he said turning around to face Archer.

Archer laughed.

"Buddy, does it look like I give a shit? I am about to go into one of New York's most expensive jewelers. Clearly, money isn't a factor! But still; don't rip me off or something."

With that, Sterling got out the cab and walked into Davet's Fine Jewelers.

Forty minutes later, Archer was unlocking the door to his penthouse and walked in throwing his duffle bag on the marble floors.

"Woodhouse!" He yelled out annoyed.

The aging servant came hobbling from a spare bedroom with a dust cloth in his hand.

"Ah, I see you are home, Sir," he said.

"Very good, Woodhouse. I'm glad you're catching on to the basics. Make me a Bloody Mary. I haven't had lunch yet," Archer said furrowing his eyebrows at the valet.

"But Sir, I don't think a Bloody Mary-

"Woodhouse."

"Very good, Sir," said the servant conceding to his employer.

Once alone, Archer reached in his suit pocket and pulled out a small sapphire colored velvet box. He opened the box and smiled with pride at the glistening 7 carat diamond engagement ring. It was absolutely flawless and perfect Lana. (Though he had to pay extra to get it sized for her abnormally large hands.)

He closed the box and shoved it back in his pocket just as Woodhouse entered the living room with his Bloody Mary.

"About damn time," Sterling said snatching the drink from the silver tray.

"If there's nothing else, Sir, I am off to do my weekly grocery shopping," the old man said.

"Make sure to get stuff to make Eggs Woodhouse!" Archer yelled to Woodhouse as he walked out the room.

Archer took a big gulp of his Bloody Mary, whipped out his cell phone, and punched in a phone number.

"What?" answered the voice on the other end of the line.

"Still bitchy as ever," replied Archer chuckling.

"You know…"

"Listen, I need your help with something. Are you around tonight?"

"Depends. What are you planning?"

Archer took another sip of his drink and swished it in his glass a bit.

"Oh you know, just returning a favor to someone."

**A/N: I am so sorry it took me a while to write another chapter. Grad school started, I started drinking, I picked up a hobby, and of course the new season started ::Fan scream!:: So my next chapter will be the last and we will learn what Archer is planning and who he was talking to. Thank you all for the wonderful comments and reviews. It is much appreciated! ::drops mic on stage::**


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